Reviews of Movies I Have No Intention of Seeing: 2012


Oh, Roland Emmerich. What a sad man you have become. Going back to the disaster movie well yet again even though the it's long run dry? This movie may purport to take place a few years in the future, but cinematically, Emmerich and company are very much stuck in 1996.

People had already stopped wanting this kind of everybody-runs-for-their-lives/buildings-topple-and-crumble shock fluff even before it brought up uncomfortable memories of real-world horrors. These days, your fellow humans don't just find it tired and cliché, but also disturbing and distasteful.

Emmerich's Independence Day partner, Dean Devlin, at least had the sense to move on to other things. Sure, one of those things was a series of TV movies about an action-Librarian, but at least the man understands that there IS a concept of branching out, even if he doesn't know how to do it well.

I don't believe for a moment that, as this movie suggests, the world will end in the year 2012 since my fellow Superions don't plan our invasion until many years later, but if it did, at least we could take solace in the notion that it would probably be the only thing that would finally stop Roland Emmerich from trying to make Independence Day yet again.

You'd think a man so steeped in the tropes of calamity would understand that lightening never strikes in the same place twice.

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