ROBIN HOOD
The Gladiator team of Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe shrug their shoulders at not having had as much success with any other project in the ten years since that film, attempt to make it again, and call it "Robin Hood."
Of course, if you really wanted to make a movie about Robin Hood - a legendary character who throughout the many versions of stories told about him over the last several hundred years has always been portrayed as being a joyful trickster who leads a group called The Merry Men, you probably wouldn't cast an actor who appears to be physically incapable of smiling. Seriously, there are more pictures of the Loch Ness Monster out there than images of Crowe cracking a grin.
Casting Crowe as Robin Hood makes about as much sense as casting Tommy Lee Jones as Little Orphan Annie, but without any of the joy of seeing grumpy grandpa in a little red dress.
SHREK FOREVER AFTER
Remember when Shrek felt like a fresh spin tired old sugary-sweet versions of fairy tales? No? Neither do I, but that was the idea, wasn't it? Even if it had ever been all it wanted to be, a fourth time out for a fresh-take, just cannot be a fresh take anymore.
Shrek, you've already had your three strikes. You're out.
LETTERS TO JULIET
I have a sneaking suspicion that this paint-by-numbers romantic comedy (starring Amanda Seyfried, one of the bug-eyed alien ingenues of Planet Popintulate VII who has somehow made her way into Hollywood - possibly using her hypnotic ocular orbs) may not be quite as well written as the Shakespeare play its title references.
It may, however, in its own way, be just as much of a tragedy.
PRINCE OF PERSIAN
Am I understanding that this movie is just two hours of Jake Gyllenhaal playing with tiny Persian kittens? I think somebody told me that.
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